When the same things keep happening to you, you become emotionally unresponsive to them. And when there are enough of those things in your life, emotional responses in general become cloudy. If someone yells at you, you may as not feel angry. You've already done that a million times, why do it again?
The whole idea of emotions has begun to just feel like crap to me. I'm not saying I've lost them, nor have I lost morality, empathy, or any of those things we commonly have. I'm just saying rather than feeling victim to them, I'd rather analyze them, when they start to become repetitive and silly. Rather than, when someone makes a comment to anger me, feel angry, I would rather think about the best tactical response. What will actually prove my point? What can humor me? What can throw them in a loop?
And of course, this is only what I'd rather do. Sadly I'm still stupid enough to fall for some things.
I really want to go to college. Although I understand it will make coming home like a reminder of problems, ones which I cannot fix, and which will replay forever, I still think it's preferable. I can't do anything to stop them now, so I should remove myself from them.
As much as I like to be on top of a situation, and have a clear idea of people's motives, it's important to sometimes let things go. If someone is implying something deeper, they are, the majority of the time, not trying to make a jab at your side. They're just trying to be polite.
"I would prefer if this were like this" DOES, it's true, mean "you're doing it wrong." But they did not say that. They did not say that because it would be impolite. They appreciate you're doing it at all, they do not want to insult you, but it's something they can't help but point out.
If someone does not word something right, you should just pay attention to their intentions. I cannot tell you how many people I hear at GSA say "lifestyle", "become" (about transgenders), etc. I once heard someone make an entire sentence just riddled with these mistakes, but in a serious attempt to say something pro-LGBT. I couldn't even bother to correct them. I appreciate they're trying.
I've also been thinking, what comes after LGBT? I want to say just a general acceptance. The thing is, the feminist movement had its own title, black power had its own title, and now LGBT. My brother told me how his class watched a documentary on transgender people, and how no one in the class could relate in the slightest. Most of them were confused. But they did just accept it and move on. So after a century of civil rights movements, I would really hope people can just move on, as a whole. I'd hope there can be a moral to the story: "people are different, and we should extend liberties as much as possible to accommodate, so long as it does not sacrifice the three basic rights (life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness) to any other person."